Shoua - 9teen - WI
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Philip Booth, from “Rule One” (via litverve)

(via love-and-music-is-in-my-soul)

Rule One of all
rules one:
No one ever knows
how much another hurts.


i never run voluntarily so if u ever see me running you should start running too bc something is coming

(via ofmiceandmeows)

Margaret Atwood, from “Dancing” (via fables-of-the-reconstruction)

(via love-and-music-is-in-my-soul)

There is always more than you know.
There are always boxes
put away in the cellar,
worn shoes and cherished pictures,
notes you find later,
sheet music you can’t play.

Peregrine (via youreyesblazeout)

(via love-and-music-is-in-my-soul)

Don’t you believe it,
what they say about home…
that you can’t go back.
Music is a part of home
you take with you all your life.

It’s a place where
you’re always welcome, where
solace hangs as thick as
foggy mornings off of school,
as thick as lazy summer days.

why eating disorders are not a fucking punchline. (via emptypsychosis)

(via emptypsychosis)

Anorexia isn’t “just don’t eat”. Its the constant fear of ingesting calories by breathing or thinking or drinking. Its not being able to walk or stand up without seeing stars. Its having everysinglelittle thought revolve around food. Its hunger pains so bad you can’t get out of bed. Its washing your hair in the shower and coming away with a chunk of it in your hand. Actually, your hair is everywhere. On your clothes, on your desk, in your math book. Its losing your memory and your friends and your sanity. Its dark circles make-up can’t hide because it won’t make the dullness in your eyes disappear anyway. Its being tired and sleeping for 14 hours a day to avoid food and because you lack energy. Its feeling hazy and slow. But you just can’t stop.

Binging isn’t having a second slice of cake. Its stuffing until it hurts to breathe, think, walk, and then stuffing some more. Its the guilt of going through an entire pantry in one sitting. Its breaking down in the kitchen because its too much but never enough. Its getting up at 2am to go eat because you just. can’t. stop. thinking about food. Its the shame of eating in front of people. Its stomachaches and bloating. Its unexplainable and frustrating. Its starting with “just one” and going through the entire box without knowing why. Its not being hungry but eating until it hurts.

Bulimia isn’t a diet. Its the desperation to be empty. Its needing to get rid of the guilt because you can’t stand feeling like this. Feeling full, complete, healthy. Its the endless cycle of stuffing and puking. Its coughing up a mouthful of blood. Its dry-heaving over the toilet. Its panic attacks when nothing’s coming out and “Oh God, is mom home already?”. Its smelling like vomit, and scrapes on your knuckles, and sores on your lips. Its a sore throat that won’t go away and coughing and coughing and coughing. Its “How am I going to get rid of this?”. Its stuffing your fingers so far down your throat that you choke because there’s nothing coming up but something needs to come up.

Its not fun. Its not a choice. Its not a lifestyle.
Its a deadly mental disorder.

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